Nizz SkyWalkerParticipantPostcount 27 February 25, 2018 at 11:36 pm
Hey everyone. I just needed a place to post my thoughts and feelings. For some reason my journal isn’t helping. I guess I just feel the desire to share this publicly in case anyone can relate and perhaps…help anyone else to feel less alone.
I am currently overwhelmed with sadness, confusion, and a bit of anger. It is strange though. It doesn’t feel bad. It actually feels good. It’s like that pain that hurts so good. Know what I mean? I know all of this is due to a recent experience that I had. I had a huge reality check about my savior complex again. Didn’t even realize I was doing it. This experience only reinforced to me that I can’t fix everything. I can’t help everyone. Everything is a choice and I cannot make anyone else do what I think is right. Everyone needs to do what they think is right. I deleted my Facebook. I was going to create another profile, but I’m leaning more towards the decision that I don’t really want a Facebook anymore. How does it really serve me? Is it truly beneficial for me to engage on social media like that? Aside from that, I feel that my family suffers when I’m so interested in other people’s lives and take on their burdens as my responsibility. Energy is the currency of the universe right? When you
‘pay’ attention to something, you’re buying that experience.I’m talking about even down to the point where someone posts they’re having a bad day and I tap into some brilliant words to message them that would make them feel better. That still takes time and energy from me. Yes, I am absolutely willing to do this, but it has ended up unnecessarily exhausting. Especially when others decide to attach to me and message me constantly…needing that attention, then getting upset when I don’t respond. Love should be spontaneous and we should embrace it when we feel it and not demand it or expect it. Giving love and attention should be done when the intention is pure, otherwise, it’s fake. Fake is not real. It’s an illusion. I prefer real…reality. Love is used to manipulate…(I only say that your experiences are just stories because I love you and I want you to get back to reality. I only say that I’m disappointed because I care about you.I only say that your information is not credible because I don’t want others to think you live with your head in the clouds…I don’t want them to think this about you because I love you.) There is no love in these statements and I would be a fool to believe that. I’m tired of being judged and others seemingly knowing what’s best for me…because they love me? lol! I’m sorry, but when this happens from others that are close to me, my reaction is hurt followed by anger. I feel this anger because I feel like they’re trying to suppress and control me. It makes me feel like I can’t breathe. I mean, I see right through all of the manipulation tactics and I will not be assimilated into doing what someone else wants me to do because of their own insecurities. How do you think my higher self reacts to that? I know, my higher self get’s confused. My higher self ends up thinking that I no longer need the guidance because I’m giving my power away to another being, therefore, no longer in control of my own destiny…because I allowed myself to be manipulated. In a way, it’s like taking permission away from source after I asked source for help. The great part is, I know I can always ask for the help back when I realize that I lost it due to my own choices. So, this time, I asked for guidance to not only get me out of this but to learn and grow from it…Use it to empower me somehow. Well, I got an answer. Wasn’t one that I was expecting actually. I have been wanting to astral project for a while but knew that I wasn’t spiritually ready and also knew that when the time came that I was ready, I would just KNOW! Guess what? This last experience was the last phase of my 3D discernment. I guess I’ve been training in this 3D realm how to sharpen my discernment so that I am not manipulated in the astral. There are missions that I’m meant to accomplish in the astral in order to aid in the exposure and lifting of this veil for the greater good. Now I KNOW. I KNOW that I am ready and I am moving on to diligently work on astral projection. My higher self is telling me as I type this that there are beings in the astral who will act vulnerable and use my willingness to give at any cost against me. Now I know better. There are also beings that will manipulate me and trick me into thinking that my love has saved them…when it is actually a lie. There are beings that will embrace me and give me what I think is loving intention, only to use it against me and/or trap me (all of this is similar to my most recent experience that I finally passed) My final lesson was, do not let my guard down just because I want peace. I need to always be aware and not allow my willingness for peace and love blind me from the truth. Love and Peace is perfect and wonderful but it can also blind me if I let it get out of balance. It’s all about balance. I now KNOW better and I am now ready. I have leveled up and know what my next mission is. Perhaps I may see you in the astral someday. I will be doing superhero work there…Gotta go. Thanks for reading.
Nizz SkyWalkerParticipantPostcount 27 February 25, 2018 at 11:50 pm
LOL Savior complex, now superhero work lol. I see how that could be misconstrued, but battling negative forces in the astral is different…I’m not trying to control anyone in order to save them. Thought I should clarify that lol.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by Nizz SkyWalker.
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